How to Maintain a Friend With Benefits

Thursday, January 05, 2012 Andrea Lo 0 Comments


It's almost mandatory now for millennials to have at least one friend they can regularly hook up with.

No Strings Attached and Friends With Benefits, two rom-coms that basically have the exact same premise surrounding fuck-buddy situations, both came out last year.


Having a fuck-buddy has become such a phenomenon that Hollywood has to make two movies about it at the same damn time.

The former stars Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher. The latter stars Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake. Boy and girl meet. Girl wants to mess around, no strings attached. The strings became attached. Because it's Hollywood, you already know how it's gonna end.

Just in case people prefer one Black Swan to the other

The Rules of a Casual Fling

People need to understand that it's a casual fling. Do not go into it thinking that it might turn into something else later. Leave your emotional baggage at the door.

Both parties need to acknowledge that it's an arrangement that suits both parties' needs. I also can't stress this enough.

Be realistic about what you're doing and where you're headed. Maybe you're both at a point in your lives where you'd rather focus on something other than romantic relationships, or perhaps neither of you are planning on staying put in where you're currently based. In all honesty, though, you're probably both just using each other until someone better comes along.

How To Keep a Friend With Benefits

Askmen gives a ton of tips on how to sustain your no-strings attached arrangement. The men's online portal also offers up plenty of practical advice for guys. A guy should 'give her advance notice on booty calls'. It goes on to say that 'even the most sexually charged of women will probably tell you to take a hike if you've woken her out of a deep sleep'. However, it also suggests that guys 'don't have to immediately pull her into the bedroom every time you get together'.

According to Cosmopolitan, 74 percent of friends with benefits situations do not destroy the friendship, which is good news — but only, of course, for those who can handle the arrangement like adults.

What If Someone Catches Feelings?

There also seems to be a cliche of women forcing the man to turn the casual fling into full-fledged relationship. I think this is a myth that needs addressing.

It's not always the woman who wants something more. It does happen, but it's not a given.

If either party catches feelings, the best thing for you to do (whether you're the one with feeling or not) is to GTFO.

There are plenty of other people you can have sex with without strings attached for you to be in this predicament. For real.