10 Ways to Be the Idiot Everybody Hates In Lectures

Tuesday, November 08, 2011 Andrea Lo 1 Comments

Whether you are a currently enrolled at university or are a graduate, you will know exactly what I am talking about. There is always one: the douchebag in your class who makes comments that no one agrees with, who goes off on a tangent in nearly every discussion, and who, more often than not, tends to sport at least one item of peculiar clothing. Find out exactly how to become that person everyone loves to hate... And gather to gossip about in the cigarette break. Please note that this blog entry is not a personal attack on any individual, but rather a collection based upon the trolls I have encountered in the variety of classes I have taken thus far at university, plus a few things I am occasionally guilty of doing...

1. Answer all questions with a vengeance.

Why answer questions neutrally, when you can answer them like the person who asked you just killed your whole family?

2. Defy other people's viewpoints on purpose.

Other people's viewpoints are so frivolous; there is just no point even listening to them. Remember, your opinion is always the most insightful, the most significant, the only one that matters.

3. Have at least one signature piece of clothing/accessory that sets tongues wagging.

Life is too short to blend in. Stand out by wearing a piece of clothing guaranteed not willingly owned or worn by anyone else, at least not to a lecture.

4. Start dancing/make silly noises in class.

It's the only way to get noticed by the lecturer, to show them you are an outstanding student who is capable of such gestures.

5. Turn up late to every lecture. Leave early.

No one minds all the door-slamming noises you're making.

6. Turn up with gadgets; pretend to do work on them.

Everyone knows that when you whack out an iPad, some serious shit is getting done on there. And you really do have to check your Blackberry every 5 minutes; it's all related to your degree.

7. Make judgemental comments containing at least one of the following elements: racism, sexism, classism.

Media and Communications students are stupid, women are stupid, non-whites are stupid, people who do not vote for Conservatives are stupid. Right?

8. Relate your personal life to every single discussion.

What they said just now totally reminds you of that time you were doing that thing with so-and-so. And then basically this happened, and it was. Just. Crazy.

9. Make irrelevant and/or down right stupid remarks.

'My boyfriend is a furry.'

10. Act like you know everything, even more than the lecturer.

I am guilty of:
3, 5, 6.

1 comment:

  1. And when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody, huh? Because that's not what Rome is about!!!!!