Confessions of A Third Year Undergraduate, Part III: 10 Things I Learned at University

Wednesday, May 09, 2012 Andrea Lo 1 Comments

'What are you doing after graduation?'
- Everyone

After three long years, my university education is finally coming to an end. Freshers seems like such a long time ago. Everyone is freaking out, attempting to find out what each other's plans are after graduation. Those who don't know pretend they don't care, and those who do know pretend they are not secretly pleased. Many people wonder, why are we even at university? After all, statistically 50% of us end of jobless and 'living in our parents' basement' in a year's time anyway. As such, I have compiled a list of the 10 most valuable things I learned throughout my three-year university education.

1. Nothing anyone does is ever too shocking.

I mean, literally, nothing. From hearing about a hot mess passing out in the middle of the road en route to the bar (next to a cemetery, no less); to witnessing someone wrapping themselves in a bed sheet whilst trying to catch a glimpse of the person with whom they had just had a rendezvous (and getting themselves caught in the window as a result); having to call an ambulance for a guy bleeding from every orifice lying on the pavement at 3 a.m., because his friends were too busy downing beers; and not forgetting my personal favourite, a serial lasher pretending they had a family death just so they could miss an exam and attend their sport society's annual pub crawl... Nothing shocks me anymore.

2. Due tomorrow, do tomorrow.

People who routinely carry out this risky act are a dime a dozen. Most of the time, they end up getting an A.

3. The library is where to go to see and be seen.

People are starting to treat the library like some kind of socialising hotspot. So now, not only do I have to deal with having developed a chronic fear of bumping into people I know on campus while not looking my best, it seems that this logic also applies to a studying session at the library. Towards the end of the semester, the library routinely sees a bevy of hot babes with hair and makeup all did; my Facebook newsfeed is also rammed with various check-in's indicating just how hard people are studying in the library. People holla at each other in silent areas, hug like they're long-lost twins, and generally act like it's the latest place to see and be seen.

4. Casual sexism, racism, anti-semitism and any other form of politically incorrect observations are completely justifiable, as long as they are deemed 'banter'.

Prime examples: being told I look like Lucy Liu every time someone tries to chat me up. Being asked how much I bought my British passport for 'on the black market'.

5. Monogamy is overrated.

It is okay to cheat on the person you are supposedly in a relationship with; the only downside is to have to avoid them for your remaining time at university, but cheaters get around so much they usually have to employ that kind of tactic anyway.

6. Expect to fall out with at least one person.

If you have the exact same friends as you made in first year, then count your lucky stars.

7. If you don't drink, you are weird or untrustworthy.

I guess this is sometimes true.

8. You are solely judged by what you wear and your individual style.

H asked me once if this girl we vaguely know is a 'crack addict'. She is in fact a perfectly nice girl, but likes to dress in an alternative manner. Similarly, we know girls who like to wear nothing when they go out, but are in fact devout religious types. Not judging a book by its cover is not the way to do things.

9. Not owning a smartphone is unacceptable.

How else are you supposed to keep up?

10. Hopefully, your degree will have something to do with your future.

Confessions of a Third Year Undergraduate, Part I
Confessions of a Third Year Undergraduate, Part II

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